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Brené Brown on Empathy

BeginnerAmerican accentAnimated talk3 min

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Transcript: 37 sentences

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  1. 0:09 So, what is empathy and why is it VERY different than sympathy?
  2. 0:15 Empathy fuels connection.
  3. 0:17 Sympathy drives disconnection.
  4. 0:20 It's very interesting.
  5. 0:22 Theresa Wiseman is a nursing scholar who studied very diverse professions where empathy is relevant and came up with four qualities of empathy.
  6. 0:32 Perspective taking - ability to take the perspective of another person, or recognise their perspective as their truth.
  7. 0:38 Staying out of judgment - not easy when you enjoy it as much as most of us do.
  8. 0:44 Recognising emotion in other people, then communicating that.
  9. 0:48 Empathy is feeling WITH people.
  10. 0:51 I always think of empathy as this kind of sacred space.
  11. 0:56 When someone's in a deep hole and they shout from the bottom...
  12. 1:04 ..And we look and we say, "Hey!"
  13. 1:07 And climb down...
  14. 1:12 Sympathy is, "Ooh!"
  15. 1:15 "It's bad, uh-huh?"
  16. 1:18 "Uh...
  17. 1:19 No.
  18. 1:20 You want a sandwich?"
  19. 1:24 Empathy is a choice and it's a vulnerable choice.
  20. 1:27 In order to connect with you, I have to connect with something in myself that knows that feeling.
  21. 1:34 Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with, "At least..."
  22. 1:42 Yeah.
  23. 1:42 And we do it all the time because, you know what?
  24. 1:45 Someone shared something with us that's incredibly painful and we're trying to "silver lining" it.
  25. 1:51 I don't think that's a verb, but I'm using it as one.
  26. 1:54 We're trying to put a silver lining around it.
  27. 1:57 So, "I had a miscarriage."
  28. 1:59 "At least you know you can get pregnant."
  29. 2:01 "I think my marriage is falling apart."
  30. 2:03 "At least you have a marriage."
  31. 2:09 "John's getting kicked out of school."
  32. 2:11 "At least Sarah is an A-student."
  33. 2:13 One of the things we do sometimes in the face of very difficult conversations is we try to make things better.
  34. 2:22 If I share something with you that's very difficult, I'd rather you say, "I don't even know what to say.
  35. 2:29 I'm just so glad you told me."
  36. 2:31 Because the truth is, rarely can a response make something better.
  37. 2:36 What makes something better is connection.

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