How do you feel when someone says 'no'? 6 Minute English

Hard words

The longest, least common words in this video. Say them slowly before you start.

• perfectionism
• interactions
• psychologist
• definitions
• discoveries
• confidence
• criticisms
• experiment

Transcript: 97 sentences

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1. 0:00 Hello and welcome to 6 Minute English from BBC Learning English.
2. 0:04 I'm Georgie.
3. 0:05 And I'm Neil.
4. 0:06 Don't forget you can find vocabulary, definitions and a worksheet for free on our website, bbclearningenglish.com.
5. 0:15 So Neil, today we're talking about rejection.
6. 0:19 So, rejection means saying no to someone or refusing to accept their idea or suggestion.
7. 0:26 Neil, how do you feel about rejection?
8. 0:28 Well, nobody likes rejection.
9. 0:32 But I think as you get older, you get used to it.
10. 0:36 And probably it's quite a good thing to experience rejection, even if it doesn't feel nice.
11. 0:43 Yeah, I agree.
12. 0:44 We can't always get what we want, can we?
13. 0:46 We can't, no.
14. 0:47 In this podcast, we'll be learning about a new internet trend called rejection therapy
15. 0:53 and how people are using it to help them to be more confident.
16. 0:59 OK.
17. 1:00 Let's start with our quiz question, Georgie.
18. 1:02 Lots of famous people have faced rejection in their lives before they became successful, but which of these things did not happen to the animator Walt Disney
19. 1:14 before he became successful?
20. 1:16 Was it: a) he lost his job as an artist, b) his first business ran out of money, or c) his first full length film was a failure?
21. 1:27 I've got no idea, but I'm going to go with a) he lost his job as an artist.
22. 1:32 OK.
23. 1:32 Well, we'll find out the answer at the end of the programme.
24. 1:36 OK Neil.
25. 1:37 So, most people don't like being rejected, but one thing to try might be something called rejection therapy.
26. 1:45 It's a social media trend where people record themselves talking to strangers and sometimes being rejected.
27. 1:53 OK.
28. 1:54 That sounds quite interesting, but let's find out how it works in practice.
29. 1:59 Hannah Gelbart, host of the BBC World Service podcast What in the World, had a go at the trend.
30. 2:05 Let's see how she got on.
31. 2:08 Hey, can I come sit down at your table?
32. 2:10 Yeah.
33. 2:11 Hey, how's it going?
34. 2:12 Good, thank you.
35. 2:13 How's your day gone?
36. 2:14 Good afternoon.
37. 2:15 How are you doing?
38. 2:16 Can I drive your cab?
39. 2:20 Can I?
40. 2:20 Can I get behind the wheel?
41. 2:22 Don't be silly...!
42. 2:23 Coming somewhere else to try and face my fears...
43. 2:26 maybe do a bit of shopping.
44. 2:28 I was wondering, can I have a nap in one of these beds?
45. 2:30 Can I just try it out?
46. 2:31 Wow - I didn't expect that one to be a yes!
47. 2:34 Well, it seems like people were pretty nice to Hannah in those examples.
48. 2:38 Yes.
49. 2:38 And she talks with psychologist Claudia Hammond about how she felt during the experiment.
50. 2:44 And actually walking up to the first person, I felt my adrenaline really, really spiking.
51. 2:49 I'm not a socially anxious person.
52. 2:50 I think I'm really confident.
53. 2:52 But that first thing really scared me.
54. 2:54 And once I'd done one, the second one came easier and the third one came even easier.
55. 2:58 And you know, by the fourth time I didn't even mind it whether they said yes or no.
56. 3:02 Hannah says that when she walked up to the first stranger in the video, she felt her adrenaline spiking.
57. 3:08 If something spikes, it increases sharply.
58. 3:11 Hannah is not generally a socially anxious person.
59. 3:15 Someone who is socially anxious is nervous or worried about speaking to other people.
60. 3:21 Each time Hannah tried to speak to a new person, she says, it came easier.
61. 3:26 Come easier is an informal way to say something is easier to achieve.
62. 3:31 Now, this social media trend is called rejection therapy, but it's not a proper form of therapy.
63. 3:38 It hasn't been tested.
64. 3:40 And there are some criticisms of the videos because they involve filming your interactions with strangers, which people might not want.
65. 3:48 But people who post the videos say they boost their confidence.
66. 3:53 So, why do people want to ask for rejection?
67. 3:56 Psychologist Claudia Hammond has some ideas, which she shared with Hannah on the BBC World Service podcast What in the World.
68. 4:05 What we do know is that there is an increase in perfectionism.
69. 4:08 People are more worried now, younger people, about how other people are judging them.
70. 4:12 And so, I wonder whether that might make people more shy of speaking to strangers - worried that the people will, you know, not appraise them in a good way,
71. 4:22 and so doing something like this to try to counter that might feel like a positive step to people, that they're trying to do something.
72. 4:29 Also, they're fun to watch.
73. 4:31 Claudia says there's an increase in perfectionism among young people.
74. 4:36 Perfectionism is the feeling that everything you do needs to be perfect.
75. 4:40 Young people are also worried about how people will appraise them, which means judge them.
76. 4:47 Deliberately looking for rejection might be an extreme way to become more confident, but it can lead to surprising discoveries.
77. 4:55 Yes, and Hannah found that most strangers she spoke to were friendly and happy to help, so she didn't really experience rejection much at all.
78. 5:04 OK.
79. 5:04 Georgie, I think it's time now for the answer to my quiz question.
80. 5:09 I asked you which rejection Walt Disney didn't experience before becoming successful?
81. 5:16 Yes, and I went for a) I don't think he lost his job as an artist.
82. 5:21 Well, actually, the answer was c) his first full length film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, was not a failure.
83. 5:29 It was a huge success.
84. 5:31 Wow!
85. 5:31 That was his first film?
86. 5:33 That's really impressive.
87. 5:34 It is.
88. 5:35 OK.
89. 5:35 Let's recap the vocabulary we learned in this programme, starting with 'rejection', which means saying no or refusing an idea or suggestion.
90. 5:45 The verb 'spike' means increase suddenly.
91. 5:48 Someone who is socially anxious is nervous or worried about speaking to other people.
92. 5:54 If something comes easier, it's easier to achieve.
93. 5:58 'Perfectionism' is the feeling that everything you do needs to be perfect.
94. 6:03 And if you appraise someone, you judge them.
95. 6:06 Once again, our six minutes are up, but you can test what you've learned with the free worksheet on our website, bbclearningenglish.com.
96. 6:15 Thank you for joining us and goodbye.
97. 6:17 Goodbye.

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